


Joke Me Something Awful

by hitthehospital



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Destiel - Freeform, M/M, My first fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-08 15:44:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6861214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hitthehospital/pseuds/hitthehospital
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is upset and asks for Castiel's help, but he ends up admitting more about himself than he'd like to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Joke Me Something Awful

"Cas... Cas I - I know you're there." A steady voice pushed through the silence. Castiel's eyes darted open. "Dean."

The smell of the old motel room hit Castiel as soon as he arrived. Dust and damp mixed with the scent of spilt beer that leaked from a discarded bottle onto the carpet.  
Dean perched on the edge of the single bed with his head in his hands, humming a song that stirred memories in Castiel of leather seats, hot bonnets and the scent of diesel.  
"Dean."  
Dean's head whipped up. His eyes were shining. "C-Cas." He stood slowly. "You came."  
Castiel's forehead creased as he tilted his to the left. "Of course, Dean."  
"Uh- Yeah. Yeah, sure." Dean smiled grimly. He wiped his hands on his faded jeans and looked at the ground. "It's... It's Sammy. He's... Gone." Dean fell back onto the bed, the confession draining the energy from him. Castiel delayed his approach to the bed. He sat lightly next to Dean, their shoulders an inch from touching. "How can I help?" Castiel's voice was cautious.  
"Sammy left. He text me, he's okay, but he's mad and I - I didn't know what to do."  
"Why did he behave in such a manner, Dean?" Dean stiffened.  
"Dean?" Castiel's voice was more urgent now.  
"It doesn't matter." Dean's eyes stayed glued to the old, worn carpet.  
"I'm sure we can find him faster if you speak the truth."  
Dean suddenly stood up. He paced the small room, fists clenching and unclenching with every step.  
"Dean." Cas's voice was stern now. He slowly rose. "Dean."  
"What do you want me to say, Cas?" Dean snapped. "That I drove Sammy away?" His green eyes began shining again. His voice trembled. It broke Castiel's heart. "That no matter how hard I try I can't save him? That I can't save anyone? Hell, I can't even-" Dean was interrupted by a pair of soft lips on his. In his momentary surprise, Dean forgot his sorrow and anguish and fear. He almost-  
Dean pushed Castiel hastily away. "What the Hell was that?" Dean glared at Castiel, making the angel blush with embarrassment. Had he really gotten it that wrong? "I thought that was customary in this situation."  
Dean raised an eyebrow. "Customary? Of course not! You've been watching too many rom-coms. And besides," Dean smirked, "I don't swing that way."  
Castiel frowned.  
"I'm not gay!"  
The angel chuckled softly.  
"What?"  
"I know"  
"Then wh-"  
"I can read minds, Dean. I know what you think when your eyes fall on women."  
Dean smirked. "Well, yeah, b-"  
"And men."  
The Winchester fell silent. Castiel held his gaze. Dean laughed after at a moment. "I-I don't know what you mean, Cas."  
"Yes, you do. And I know what you think..." Castiel flicked his eyes away from Dean's. "... about me."  
"What? No! I'm not gay!" Dean yelled. Castiel remained silent. "I'm not!"  
"I never said you were."  
"Yes you did, Cas. You did! Why would you think that! I would never - have never - thought about men in that way!"  
"Yes you have, Dean."  
"No I haven't!" Dean started to shout, eyes watering and hands shaking. "I'm not gay! I've slept with women, I'm - how do you explain Lisa? Are you saying that was fake? Are you saying that the best thing in my life was a lie? Because I'm gay?" Dean glared at Castiel. The angel looked up into his moss-green eyes, and sighed sadly. "No, of course not"  
"Then what the Hell-"  
"I'm saying, Dean, that you can love more than one gender," Castiel growled, surprising Dean into silence. The angel paced across the tiny room. "Your species is so keen to place everything into categories! You all care so much about what others think about you that you can't live! Did you know that over 1500 species or animals engage in homosexual and bisexual behaviour?"  
"No, bu-"  
"And some people have the audacity to say that it is a sin - that it is Lucifer's fault and God will punish you! If they could only know!" Castiel laughed grimley, anger and frustration bubbling within him. But then he looked up.  
Dean stood weakly against the wall, face ashen and tear-stained. Castiel's face fell. "I-I'm sorry, Dean.."  
The angel slowly walked toward the him, hand outreached. He grazed Dean's arm with his fingers. The man stiffened at the touch.  
"Dean..." Castiel sighed.  
Dean leant softly into his hand and closed his eyes. He let out a deep breath, letting out all of his pain and sorrow and anger. Dean opened his eyes, his pupils all full of greens and browns and yellows - so warm compared to Castiel's icy blue.  
Castiel laced his finger with Dean's and slowly lead him to the side of the bed, "Come, sit down Dean."  
Castiel was hyper-aware of how close they were sitting, aware even of his breath. The room was silent except for Dean's tears making a soft pat on the carpet as they fell.  
Castiel broke the silence. "I could take away your pain, Dean." He moved his hand toward Dean's forehead - "No."  
Castiel stopped his hand. "Dean?"  
"I need this, Cas. I deserve it."  
"No, you don't."  
"Yes. I do." He placed his hand on Dean's cheek, and leant forward, their faces millimetres apart. "No. You don't."  
Castiel's lips touched Dean's for a fleeting moment before pulling away. Castiel closed his eyes. "I'm-I'm sorry, Dean."  
The absence of noise rung in Castiel's ears like a bell. Had he really been foolish enough to make a mistake like- His thoughts were interrupted by a pair of soft lips on his own, soft and cautious. Castiel, surprised at first, merely sat on the bed and let Dean explore his mouth. Castiel kissed him back, each gentle kiss full of desperation and longing. Dean carefully placed his hand behind Castiel's kneck and pulled him closer. The angel cupped the other man's face with his hand and settled his other on Dean's free hand, squeezing it lightly. The slow kisses became more frantic and needy, the two men gliding their hands over each other's shoulders and back, until-  
Until Dean jerked back, leaving Castiel hanging. Dean turned his face, ashamed. "I..." Dean cleared his throat. "I've never done this before."  
Castiel smiled softly. He held Dean's face and leant forward, responding only by kissing the splash of tiny freckles on his cheeks and nose. Dean closed his eyes and sighed at the feather-light contact on his skin. Castiel moved his lips to the corner of Dean's and kissed him softly. He slid his mouth across Dean's and pulled away, the fleeting kiss leaving Dean's lips aching.  
"I will not transgress your wishes, Dean," Castiel said sternly.  
Dean swallowed, suddenly nervous. "So... Uh... Can we take it slow?"  
Castiel's eyebrows drew together in confusion. His head tilted to the side.  
"Step by step, Cas... Is that okay?"  
Castiel's smile was short as he wrapped Dean in his arms, pulling him down onto the bed.  
And there they lay, locked together in the darkness, Castiel's hand placed on Dean's scar exactly as it was when he gripped him tight and raised him from perdition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sam was with Gabriel the whole time so no worries :)


End file.
